| 189 weeks later |
[09 Nov 2008|01:55pm] |
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I would like to write that things have changed so much and im so happy. but i do not think that will ever be my post? Why is that you ask? Well its not because of society, its not because of any person. it all boils down to the classic struggle of man vs himself. i am a loser and have been trying to fix it over the last few years. i get close sometimes, but no matter what i do it comes back to slap me in my face. i remember a friend once got mad at me for writing failure on my door. i wrote it because i so badly wanted to erase it and not be that loser anymore. i never erased it for that reason, i erased it because we had to move and my parents didnt think that would help us sell the house to have a freak living in the house. I never re-wrote it on any other doors because i knew i would most likely never erase it and mean it sure i like to pretend, but i know who i really am. you would think id be mad and hold a secret grudge towards people who have called me things such as moron like my dad. truth is i do not. i think they were actually right and the first people to realize it. like when i was a kid and couldnt figure out how to change the edger wire, i really was an idiot for not being able to figure that out, and for a long time i thought my idiotness could be blamed on my dad for calling that. you can not blame people for telling the truth. so you (as if anybody besides myself will ever read this) are probably wondering why i wrote this?well once again i have been a failure.i took a test that i have been in school for a really really long time for.i totally failed it. i do0 not have the resutls for sure.but ill put it this way, i failed it plain and simple. surprise surprise, it is me after all. who knows what i should do from here, i mean im only like 30kish in debt froma schooling experience were i have and mmaintained a 4.0 but it doesnt matter because im too big of an idiot to pass a test that most people not even in education would pass.i guess thats thecurse of being a failure. i feel sobad now for trying to tell students that they really are smart when i dont even believe i am smart myself. well anyhow it felt good to get some of this crap out. yours failure sincerely brad
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| hey guess what? |
[12 Mar 2005|07:09pm] |
| [ |
mood |
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 ecstatic |
] |
| [ |
music |
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all shall perish |
] |
for once i have absolutly nothing to complain about. this is me being happy :)... its about time! i cant wait to go wakeboarding
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| run till you pass out |
[09 Mar 2005|04:39pm] |
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music |
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blood in blood out |
] |
yeah, so latly ive been thinknig. Sure i go to the gym all the time and workout. There are millions of other people that do that. I sometimes get down about my results not being good enough. So then i started training with bj, dude is nuts. Pushes me to the edge and back. What really made this all hit me is this. The other day i was running, and I thought about a convo that scott and I had. He said that we are alike that we work out to see how far we can push ourselvs. Like a mind game. So when i was running i thought, is this is hard as i can run? Am i going to more or less jog and never push myself every day? what if tomorrow is my last day here? Why waste your time on something if your not going to pour your heart it in. There was a time when i didnt think i could do any better. Just proud enough that i was out running. All that has changed, it is so worthless. I once sent such a low standard for myself. So back to the story, i realized all this, and i just thought who cares. What if i run so hard that i puke or if i pass out? well chances are im not going to die. and chances are im going to feel good about it the next day. Im going to feel more confident, and be more proud of myself. So i just said screw it dude, im running as fast as i can, and i did. I nearly did pass out, but i felt like a million bucks afterwards. I have been staying really true to working out this hard. We all have the potential to be amazing people, its only sad because not too many people are willing to go so far
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[01 Mar 2005|09:20pm] |
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I guess you could say today was a good day. Just the usual school/work/gym. The main thing i liked about today, is when i got to the gym, i realized i didnt have a lifting shirt, i knew that david gave me a few shirts that i had in my trunk. they have been there since the summer. I havent worn them because they were huge. So I put one on and it fit perfectly. Then when im lifting, some random dude comes up to me and is asking what i do to work out my traps because they are so "huge". That was pretty cool. So anyways, there was this guy that i knew a while ago, i always thought he was pretty big, and i see him at the gym all the time. I never really thought about being as big as him, but i went to weigh myself in the locker room and out of nowhere, i hear "holy crap your big now". so sure enough it was him. We had like a mini posedown and he claims im bigger than him. Its weird because i would have never really noticed. now i just think he shrunk or something hha. i guess i should be happy where im at.... but im not. Tony Danza look the fuck out
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| good morning |
[27 Feb 2005|10:36am] |
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music |
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full blown chaos |
] |
Its always a nice way to wake up when your mom tells you that she is afraid of you. Because you remind her of Dr. Jeckel/Mr. Hide.... yeah i guess she thinks im crazy or something, and now im forced into seeing a psychiatrist. She really wants me to take meds. I dont think im the problem. I think all the shitty people, that affect me are the problem. Sure you shouldnt let people run your emotions, but after a while people can be realy fucking gay. Dear world, If you dont like someone, you should probably just tell them. If you cant hang out with someone, you should tell them the truth. If someone makes you angry, y ou shouldnt avoid them. Maybe if people would just be honest with each other, then this world wouldnt be such a bad place. Im sick of stuff like this "ooh i cant hang out, i have so much homework to do tonight".... on a fucking saturday, after you made plans? Even when the person blew off an awesome show for you? or how about, "I have to help my sister get ready for her wedding, I dont think i can hang out tonight". Ooh i see, you are going to be helping ALL NIGHT? i doubt it. there are too many other related stories i could go off on, but fuck em. All together quit being so fucking fake. Im glad i have like the 4 or 5 real friends that I have.
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| hi |
[19 Feb 2005|07:12pm] |
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music |
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Lord Tarik- deja vu |
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i have scotts facedown fest 2k4 dvd.... I really want to attend 2k5.... :(. Im such a nerd, i even wrote nodes an email. I told them that i think their new vocalist is amazing, and their band is so good. I just feel slapped in the face because thier gutiarist talked crap about overcome, saying that they did nothing for christian hardcore.... dude they were the first signed facedown band. If they apologize then ill probably end up going to their show again. I realized i make more friends now because i lift and im getting big. Im gettin used to people aproaching me at the gym. I dont really care, its almost lame. NObudy wanted to be my friend when i was small... even girls, Ive learned alot in the past few weeks. Im pretty happy with life! i just learned whatever happens happens, dont try to change th ings that have already happend, thats like the most unhealthy thing you can do. If people dont like you, fuck em right scott? its time for me to be Brad
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| sleeeeep |
[15 Feb 2005|01:56am] |
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Last night i didnt get much sleep. I was having so much fun listening to the new comeback kid cd. It is good, I think i have honestly litend to it over 15 times today. Im in a bad mood now, but i think its because im really tired and cant fall asleep. Im takng this stuff called m stack, i wonder if thats why i cant sleep... who knows, today was cool... well not really haha, but ooh well why complain about something you cant do anything about. I probably wont care once i wake up tomorrow and have a burro with casey
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[13 Feb 2005|10:46pm] |
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mood |
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grateful |
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music |
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Guerilla Black |
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For some reason, my last journal entry was on a date that hasnt even came up yet.... strange, im glad Nona pointed that out to me. I can finally update my journal again. I dont have a whole lot to say now. My outlook over pretty much everything has changed. I dont really take much things to heart as I used to, im just going with the flow with things. I feel alot more like myself the past few days than I have in a long time. Even with school stuff im doing rad. I love halo 2 so much i could marry it. I wonder when nona wants to watch that show with me... hmmm. anyways someone should remind me that tomorrow night at 11:05pm, yes 05, how retarded is that, but anyways the ultimate fighter is going to be on. A reality show about cagefighting.... amazing i know, I watched a little preview today, and Chuck Lidell was on it. Im stocked
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| i love strongarm |
[19 Jan 2005|07:48pm] |
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music |
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STRONGARM- The advent of a miracle |
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I finally got my cd back from chadith. I missed it... you gotta love these lyrics
you're my beloved and all together lovely as a gift that cant't be bought as if gold could favor outweigh your meaning to me the secrets of the heart made manifest even beauty's priced beside thee proportioned by lot the less wishes fade dreams break promise made takes away your will takes your whole heart captive just for one promise sell it all for one true word to hold on to face the shame of it all safer to neglect than open your callused heart piece by piece you have lost a part of yourself you share to gain but lose at love and learn to hate yourself more and more each day and all the days thereafter they labor to put back together and regain what is gone forever wishes fade as dreams break promise made tomorrow takes the most costly mistake is to try to change the past today the filth and athe shame they all wash away for you Christ will clean the slate only love can fill the void when the world has taken its toll hand in hand by your side we'll walk down this path together i'll take you to the place where promises will never break to the advent to the advent to the advent of a miracle true love is to die for and is why i cry for you and the pain you feel and feed can heal if you'd just walk with me toward the light
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| this weekend I... |
[17 Jan 2005|11:38pm] |
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music |
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iron and wine |
] |
went to hatebreed. lost my shoe while dancing. got stepped on by fat people. laughed. was shy around kids that i think are really cool. got mad that im shy. hate being shy. anyways, yeah. then i played halo 2 while steve mentored me. That was pretty cool. Of course I went to the gym. Found out that all my pothead friends are hooking up with girls. Maybe i need loser skills like go to raves and do x to get chicks. hahaha i would rather die. Sometimes I wish i knew more people that are like me. Then again I dont know too many people that are like me... ok none. who wants to be edge and win body building competitions and snowboard like a fiend in the winter, and wakeboard all summer? Maybe i need loser skills like go to raves and do x to get chicks. hahaha i would rather die
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| im not sick |
[12 Jan 2005|01:23pm] |
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finally i have been able to hit the gym after 3 long grueling weeks of being sick and family stuff. Its not raining out, today rocks. It got even better when i got there cuz i meet th is guy phill there a while ago, he gave me some lifting advice. Said he was an nfl football player. bla lba bla. So anyways today as im driving to the gym a bently is crusing behind me, i was like no way, i bet thats him. sure enough it was. I get in there and he starts giving me advice again. Its awesome, he tells me that if i follow his chest routine, he guarentees me that i will see 15 pounds increase. He said if i make the 15 pound increase he will take me to eat anywhere i want to eat. No he isnt gay, he has a super hot fuckin wife, i hope she comes to dinner too. What makes it even cooler, is that last time i saw him he said "your working hard, but you arent big yet". today he told me that my chest and traps are huge, i just need work on my legs, its true. anyways im off to work, later to anyone who actually read this haha
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[03 Jan 2005|05:05pm] |
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today is horror movie today, unfortunatly i have seen sooooooooo many, its hard to find a decent one that i havent seen. I really want to see the brood, i have heard good things about it. I wish they would release all of the howlings on dvd, i can only find the first one. I heard the vanashing was good, any other suggestions?
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[02 Jan 2005|02:27pm] |
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mood |
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pleased |
] |
haha, the other day i was screaming this in the shower. Singing in the shower is for losers. Its all about the screaming. I like this tho.
These Tears will result in sweat. This sweat will result in blood. This bloodshed will result with a smile. I give all this for you my blood, my brother, my friend. BLOOD, PAIN, PASSION, and a GRIN. this continous cycle begins, and will not stop till i see you again. This is not the end, we will chill again my friend
I miss you cory
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| afasfsd |
[17 Dec 2004|01:22am] |
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mood |
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 annoyed |
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Damn, I shouldnt be up now but fuck it. Im just thinking about lifting and stuff "bla bla bla thats all you ever talk about brad bla fucking bla" the truth is I care about that and I dont care about you thats why I dont talk about you. Anyhow, Im getting bigger and all, im almost hitting 180lbs. Its just depressing, I get bigger but a gut naturally comes with it, its not like fat. I still dont like it. Its just annoying taht its the only way to get bigger, there needs to be like some magical muscle ingrediant. NO NOT STEROIDS, i like my heart just fine the way it is. The fact is you cant have low body fat and gain muscle it starts off as fat then turns to muscle. This process takes forever. I like the size i am now, im almost thinking of just getting cut to see what its like. If i do that then to get back onto the road of getting huge is just going to be longer. I think once i weigh 200 pounds or am benching 315 aka 3 45lb plates on each side of the olympic bar. Then I think i might just try to get cut. But then fuck it i want to be benching double my body weight when i finally get to 200lbs. Benching 400lbs isnt too much to ask for right... hahaha, im only doing 285 or maybe 290 now. I just want to be FRANCO DAMNIT, if you havent taken a look at my background quit being gay and go see it. I will look like that one day
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| its 10am and i have already consumed 32 grams of protein |
[14 Dec 2004|10:00am] |
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mood |
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impressed |
] |
Yeah, I must say today is starting off awesome. I love to wake up and feel good. No stress, feel healthy, and in a positive mood. I mean I have been making up pretty cool gutiar songs latly, im starting to get big, finals are nearly over, I got a new ARNOLD POSTER. It was just so cool, so far today I woke up, hung up the poster, Made up a new part of my song on gutiar, and then had a protein drink. Now im going xmas shopping, what do you want? Im out later
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| ouch |
[12 Dec 2004|05:48pm] |
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My sister finally showed me corys lj link. Its like re-opening a wound. I miss that guy. He is my hero. For those who dont know, im going to win a body-building competition for him. 1st place, thats what he got last year. I cant wait to hold that trophy high and yell this one is for you Cory
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| THANK YOU CASEYYYYYYYYYy |
[09 Dec 2004|07:35pm] |
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I normally dont even go on this website, well sometimes, but the fact is... I only went on it today because i have such a sck background, in case you havent seen it go look at it. Casey is the best, she thinks this guy is so hot. in case you were wondering it is franco columbu, i am going to be the same exact size one day
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| im so lame |
[07 Dec 2004|01:01am] |
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I dont really have anyone that would give a shit to hear me talk about this. I dont really have a reason to talk about this, its pretty lame. I just had to vent. I know this girl she is sooooooooo freakin awesome, its like amazing im like in shock every time i get to talk to her. She is just a friend and im pretty damn sure thats all it will ever be. I really just like to be around her. She is always crackin jokes and calling everyone a greasy tony. Im used to people being boring, Or like jojo and all them that just sit around and literally do nothing to entertain themselvs. Im glad she isnt reading this because we would have to go through a huge spelling lesson. It would be fun tho, im pretty convinced that what ever i get to do with this girl would be pretty damn fun. She can entertain herself, and just likes to have peoples company. I hate it when you feel pressured to impress a girl or something, thats so lame. I just like the fact that she chills and has fun with you regardless of stupid things. Isnt that the way things should be?
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| stupid fucking cycle |
[07 Nov 2004|11:15pm] |
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thats right, thats what my life is. a stupid fucking cycle of shit. When I figure fuck it everyone sucks, something like this happens and im like damn im a bad person. im no better than the people i hate. I dont even know what to say, fuck it i want to go to the gym
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| MORE DREAMS |
[28 Oct 2004|09:35pm] |
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I once used this as a dream log, i think i might do that again. I had some disturbing dreams last night. THE WORST DREAMS EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! so here it goes... I dreamed that the deal with Cory was all a dream, and that he was fine. Next thing i know for some reason him and Greg were going to come over to my house and chill. They both got in a car accident and died. In my dream I had to go through all this emotional stuff all over again, and it felt so real. So you think my dream cant get worse right? well it does. So then I am at a party and I hear some guy is about to rape my sister, i go to where people told me, while people were outside of the room not doing ANYTIHNG. I WAAS SOOOO PISSED. I punched through the door and killed the guy before he got to touch my sister. That was the end of my dream. So then after work i took a nap on the sofa. ANOTHER BAD DREAM!!! This one was a friend and I were climbing this huge mountain and he slipped and I had to grab his arm to save him nearly falling off. I managed to save him, but it was pretty emotional. GAHHHH, i want to have good dreams about skateboarding on dinosaurs or something fun like that
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| I cant lie |
[24 Oct 2004|10:58pm] |
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I bought the new juvenile cd. I like it alot. HAHAHAHAHA! who ever would have thought. I just figured i listen to too much either depressing or angry stuff. Its not healthy to be angry all the time... So i should mix things up. Im pissed i missed the casey jones show blahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. I havent been to a show in a while, since cave in. which was also amazing. Terror would have been sweet too, but i missed that as well. Ive been busy with school and the gym like normal. Im happy with my results so far, im getting bigger. I plan on a year to do a competition. when i win, im going to yell "THIS IS FOR YOU CORY". that will be like my moment of glory hahaha. Watching pumping iron is such an inspiration. Makes me feel like i can do it. I CAN AND WILL DO IT. anyhow, in other news the snowboard trip is offical snowboard trip the day after thanks giving. I need to get an ipod so that way i can listen to stuff while i snowboard. so if you want to let me borrow one or buy one for cheap then let me know.
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[13 Oct 2004|01:32pm] |
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music |
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It dies today- the depravity waltz |
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Im excited. things have been giong well latly. Scott and I agreed that its time to get a tat. Our tats are going to be pretty similar. on our calfs. On one leg of scotts will say one, and the other will say life. Myne is going to say on one leg, one life . and on the other its going to say no regrets . If you dont like it ooh well, at least its better than a dragon. Its also kinkda like my memorial and inspiration of cory. thats the way he lived his life with no regrets, that kid taught me alot. Anyhow today is rad no work. Its so nice outside, i want to go skatebaording. If anyone has a foot high rail let me know, that sounds like fun right now.
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[06 Oct 2004|08:09pm] |
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mood |
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 indifferent |
] |
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music |
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ten yard fight |
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Things have been getting better latly. I have been feeling better about Cory, untill today i saw pics of him all over my sisters folder. So many good memories, and not one bad one. I miss you bud. Im so fortunate to have my true friends, that are always there for me. I dont know what I would do with out them. I started taking N02 9 days ago. tomorrow is the first day I start taking creatine with it. So far, I have already been seeing results. The weekend was fun, Friday played laser tag, and played racketball, and hung out with jeff and ryan. Satruday I wanted to go rock climbing, but nobudy wanted to go. So i just went to mill with my sister and ryan and cheslea. Eric is on his way over now to show off his carbon fiber hood. I want to do something fun this weekend, like sky diving or something like that. Pretty much dont want to sit inside. Im down for suggestions, just let me know if anything cool comes up.
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| R.I.P Cory |
[25 Sep 2004|03:31pm] |
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Unfortunatly, a good friend of mine passed away last night. He was an amazing kid, he reminded me of how I used to view the world. He is the one who really got me back into weight lifting again. He was always so happy to talk to you, no matter what kind of mood you were in. I felt that he looked up to me as sort of like an older brother. I gained the most respect for him, when he stuck up for my sister one day at the mall. Some kid insulted my sister, and cory told him to back off. The kid didnt back off, and I meet up with Cory and he faught the kid. I knew Cory didnt have much of a chance, but he faught him anyways.It was amazing, everyone says they would stick up for other people, but they dont. That made me think alot. That made me realize I need to stick up for what is right... Cory taught me alot, just by being an amazing kid. I will miss you Cory, and never forget you. R.I.P friend
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| In the famous words of Sworn Enemy |
[22 Sep 2004|10:13pm] |
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"If you want to talk shit about me or my family, disrespect my kind, ill fucking pound your face out..." There is a fine line between "joking around", and "disrespecting someone". The other day this kid crossed the line. Showed no respect for my family, and wasnt the least bit apologetic. I WILL THROWDOWN ANY FUCKING DAY WITH THIS KID!!! I know that may seem "immature", or that I am "sinking to his level." If someone were to spit in your face, you can sit there and be the better person by doing nothing. Even though you may be the better person, there is going to be a piece of you that feels like a coward. It is going to atack your pride. What happens when someone looks away their entire life? I watched cops a few weeks ago. One story was about this store owner, who was getting robbed. He wasnt planning on fighting back, untill he knew that they were going to hurt him. Luckily he knew tikwando (however you spell it), and beat one of the guys down so badly. Im pretty sure that one of the guys robbing him died. The rest got away, I wonder if the guys that got away felt good about themselvs? I wonder if robing that store was worth one of their best friends life?
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| almost time |
[11 Sep 2004|09:41am] |
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I have been looking at the big bear website. It doesnt say when they are opening, but they always open the day after thanksgiving. Its going to be a good day for me. im flying out the day after thanksgiving. Austin is giong to pick me up from the airport, the next day boarding, and then driving back to his place. the next day i fly home. this is why i love life!
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[02 Sep 2004|12:45am] |
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This week just took a turn for the better!!!!!!! Ive been pretty bumed out that scott and i never get to chill. I thought i was losing one of my best friends. Its been stressfull going to school work gym homework. Im starting to get the hang of it. So hangig out with scott was rad. April then called me to do some homework. So I went over there. Its pretty cool that she switched schools just to have the same math class as me. I feel really comfortable around her now, its aweosme. For once i think someone likes me for who i actually am. I mean i have friends, but a relationship just never works. Her roomates boyfriend came over, and i just noticed the way they acted around each other, and thought that april and i click like that. so that bosted my confidence, now this weekend we are going to hang out, so hopefully something will happen
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| Go watch the exorcist |
[22 Aug 2004|03:04am] |
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I also watched the warriors yesterday. now i want to beat someone up and skateboard
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| The x-games |
[07 Aug 2004|12:49pm] |
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they are on today. I really want to see skateboarding, but every time i turn it on its something lame like inline vert, or bmx bla bla bla. I WANT SOME SKATEBOARDING DAMNIT
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| cool clubs |
[18 Jul 2004|03:58am] |
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my friend brian and i started a club called wang chung. all the club consists of playing halo against girls (so we can whop them) and make them have degrating names, cunt rag, 3 dollar whore, barbra walters. j/k I have also been asked to be in 2 other bands besides blind hearts hate, I suck at gutiar what the hell is wrong with these people? any how this update was dedicated to casey for reminding me what lj is. u rock casey, give me back my new zao cd
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| This could be good |
[23 Jun 2004|02:07pm] |
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So yesterday i got an interview and yeahh...... I wouldnt mind making 15 dollars an hour, i hope i get this!!!!
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| update bitch..... |
[13 Jun 2004|02:30am] |
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this week has been awesome, consisting of horror movies. I must have seen 7 or 8 this week. I must say the omen is the best horror movie ever. if you know of any horror movies i should watch for horror movie sunday let me know. anyhow, today was weird. Some fat fag kid wearing a slipknot acted like he wanted to fight my coworker, my coworker is skin and bones, and its not a fierce 2 inches of bicept like nate, its 2 inches of im a wimpy mormon kid, so i got pissed and the kid shut up. Eric wanted to go to the gym, i went to life in pictures insted, and it made me happy. I have some good friends, that i sometimes dont even really think of as my friends. I talked to steph today, it went well. but she is a girl 666, and it dont matter anyways CUZ I JUST DONT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT A WOMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!
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[04 Jun 2004|04:41pm] |
the msn website says :"The Average Guy and Fat
The Average Guy's body-fat percentage is 19.7" i measured myne two times, the first time was 5.4 percent, the next time was 5.0. the website also says that : "The Average Guy has 13-inch biceps" myne are over 15. anyways enough bragging. Im pretty sad, Paul had to leave our house yesterday, he is living in some really messed up group home. where a 14 year old kid raped an 8 year old kid... and this was recent. it sucks, Paul is like my brother i already miss the kid so much. Today i was at blockbuster and i was going to rent csi and the rundown, both things he would want to watch, but i realized i couldnt cuz he is not here, and i would be sad watching it w/o him :(
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| wow |
[31 May 2004|11:40pm] |
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i had too much fun in mexico, i think this is like a 2 day hang-over. it was all worth it, i meet an amazing girl. im pretty happy with life right now :)
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| the best dreams |
[18 May 2004|12:57am] |
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So last night i had the most perfect dream. It was at my grandpas house, he just wanted to throw a random party (totally something he would do for no reason), so everyone came, and he made the best pasta ever, my cousin Justin (a marine fighting in Iraq) got back at me for way back in the day i gave him fish candy, gave me electric candy. haha. My grandpas wife Cam (whom i still call granny) introduced me to someone she was related to at the party. (I was not blood related to this girl at all.) This girl and I had so much fun throwing cake at each other and what not. My little brother was actually being cool and fun. We were blasting italian music, and my uncle was even there totally drunk like normal, but for once nobudy cared. It was so much fun, then after the party, the girl and i went onto the beach, because thats where my grandpa lived, and we sat in the lifeguard tower. it was so awesome. normally when i have dreams this good i wake up sad, but this one made me happy :). I miss my grandpa
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| ha |
[16 May 2004|02:33am] |
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I hate stories like this one. so my friend got a girlfriend and figured doing the things he likes, he doesnt like anymore. chris playing halo and being way cool rip!!!!
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| I LOVE NORA |
[01 May 2004|12:45pm] |
"We knew the world.
They stole the dream.
They took the stars.
It's all we had.
It should be ours.
You let it come down around you,
There's nothing under there.
I'm afraid I have to close my eyes;
I have to be selfish.
I hope you know we love you my friend.
What the fuck?
My friend?
What did you think, my friend?
I'd never walk away, my friend?
I remember what you look like standing, my friend.
I remember." I love these lyrics. I can totally relate to it. I have seen too many friends change, im sick of it. I dont care that my friends nearly all do drugs now, its the fact that they dont ever want to do the things we used to do to have fun. Its like their personality has 100% changed. I do not feel as wanted around them now. Its like i should make new friends, that shouldnt have to happen.
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| stresssssssssssssssssssss |
[28 Apr 2004|07:44pm] |
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So this is an outline of my week, monday: go to school, miss math because I was working on my english power point presentation. go to work at mesa drive and southern, go back to school, and work on my presentation till 10 (library closed). tuesday: Went to school, came home worked on my english paper for 4 hours, went to the gym, came home finished my paper, played halo. Today: went and got a mole removed from my back, and then to school, then i had to drive back to mesa drive and southern to work from 2-6 after work, i went to teh gym. I waited for eric, he didnt show up. bastard ditched me. I realy needed him to go, because i have stitches in my back, so i needed a spot. So then i come home and call brandon to do math, and i cant get ahold of him. so I go to jojos to find him, but he isnt here. i guess im going to go do my homework now. I hope something good happens this weekend, its about time something awesome happend!!!!!
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[26 Apr 2004|01:36pm] |
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I have been so busy latly. It sucks in a way, but id rather be busy, and working hard than do nothing. Im tired of being bored and sitting around, this is a good change. I feel really rewarded from all the work i have been doing. Im not going to cali after all this summmer, on the fourth of july Eric and I are going to mexico. Its going to be awesome going with someone that is mexican, and can speak their language as well as they can. Shit i got to go to work now, then finish my powerpoint, then finish my final draft of my paper, then do tonights math homework. Ill miss the show tonight, but ooh well i dont have money anyways. This entry was so boring, sorry if anyone reads it. Just letting everyone know whats been up with me. later
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[20 Apr 2004|10:25am] |
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When Something is too good to be true, it is. Then you get royally fucked over.
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| GOOD MORNING |
[16 Apr 2004|10:43am] |
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Elliot Smith |
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I got so much sleep last night. It's a good feeing to actually get the amount of sleep that your body needs. I didnt dream about anything amazing, just about hanging out in my old old neighborhood. Me and David went to the reasurch park, and attempted to shoot rabbits with the bbgun that we had. We never hit anything, and even if we did it wouldnt hurt. The bbgun really sucked. Then we went old school and rode our skateboards down the hills using them as a luge. That stuff used to be our life. I had so much fun as a kid. I still do, but its not as easy to be entertained. Its all about huge halo matches, and going to shows, and burro night with scott. Bomber man also kicks ass!!!! This weekend should also be fun, Holly wants to go see kill bill 2 with me. Im also going to see the punnisher, i hope she can handle it. I really enjoy being around Holly!
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| today and bla |
[12 Apr 2004|11:09pm] |
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Last night i had a dream that a car was driving head on with me. it was going way fast. Scary stuff. Anyhow, today was pretty good. I went to the gym, and that dude that wants me to lift with him, set some nfl record for bench press. So i guess that also means he played pro football. I got such a good work out today, it hurts. Then holly came into my work. Im glad she did, The pictures of her baby are soooo cute. It was fun getting to hang out with her, hopefully tomorrow ill get to say hi to her again
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[09 Apr 2004|01:46am] |
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alot has been going on alot latly. I have been doing awesome, altho i cant say its been that way for a few friends. Then to top it all off, i come home and my sister is still awake at 1am, thats totally not like her. She was pretty sad. She actually cried on my shoulder. I would have never thought this day would come. That must mean she doesnt hate me. thats a shock, and makes me feel happy :)... Today at the gym was awesome. I had 205 set up on bench, then i went to get some water. i come back, and notice that 4 huge guys, were watching me. They looked like they were talking crap, as if i couldnt bench that much. That pumped me up, so i went and did it six times just like i planned. Then they came up, and were all cool, they gave me props. They said I got alot of heart, and they gave me some advice. They also want me to start lifting with them. These guys are way too big, i dont want to be like that. My main goal is to bench 100 pounds over my body weight. I think im at about 80 pounds over. Meaning i weigh 160, and bench 240. its just nice to work really hard at something for yourself, and then have other people give you props for it
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| WHY I AM SO PISSED OFF |
[03 Apr 2004|02:15am] |
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well well well, i do not know where to fucking start. ok shit happens, and i normally just blow it off. then i start to see the same things happening over and over. the sad thing is that sometimes i do nothing about it. Ok lets take this for example, FUCKING ERIC ROMERO. OOH IM SURE YOU FUCKING LOVE HIM, WHO WOULDNT? When he got his car, everyone had so much respect for his car, and treated it with care, including myself. I figured that is how it would be with my friends. NOPE, its like nobudy has any respect for me. I dont mean to be a dick about my car, so i normally dont say things to people. I wanted to keep these extra mats on the ground to make it less dirty, so what does jojo do, kicks it aside, i dont know why, but he did. Never did that to erics car. then take for example scott, he likes to make himself feel comfortable, so he always puts his feet up on my dash, never tries to wipe away the footprints or anything. I normally dont really care, but its just the fact that its like he doesnt have any respect for things i own. not to mention the coke that was spilt in my car the other day. So the other day, i took crack head Brain, and stan to the mall. Brian sat shotgun, Stan in the back. When i droped them back off at Stans house, i noticed something on the ground. WHAT DO YOU KNOW HE WIPED FUCKING GUM ON MY CARPIT!!! Its one thing to do that in your friends new car, and tell him about it, apologize at least. If he was a real friend he would tried to get it off.... Ok lets get back to eric, i got sidetracked. So jojo's dad got him this job makig 13 bucks an hour. I asked jojo right away that if they ever get an opening to let me know. I reminded him to ask his boss every day, and i even asked his dad about it a few times. I do everything for jojo, if i ever have any money, ill buy him food, get him into moves, bla bla bla. I do anything i can for my friends. So what does he do, he gets ERIC A FUCKING JOB!!! ERIC ALREADY HAS A BAD ASS JOB AT NISSAN. Im such a good friend to eric as well, i always wait till he is able to go to the gym. he always happens to "forget" his money, so i end up buying him a protien drink. Im so sick of all these fucking shady ass people. id be fucking shocked if i had one friend read all this. id be fucking shocked if i had one friend
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| ARNOLD |
[01 Apr 2004|12:07am] |
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this is what he wrote in his biography. ANOTHER REASON WHY HE IS MY HERO "I used to feel that women were here for one reason. Sex was simply another kind of exercise, another body function. I was convinced a girl and I couldn't communicate on equal footing because she wouldn't understand what I was doing. I didn't have time to take one girl out regularly and go through a normal high-school romance with all its phone calls and notes and squabbles. That took too much time. I needed to be in the gym. For me it was a simple matter of picking them up at the lake, and then never seeing them again."
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| sometime in july |
[30 Mar 2004|08:49am] |
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amused |
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Deftones |
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3 or 4 of my friends and I are going to fly out to cali, rent a car, and stay at the beach. I just want to do a bunch of fun stuff. I want to go sky diving, surf, go to a sxe show to see how crazy it gets down there, and im open to suggestions. If you have any cool ideas let me know. and please dont say anything stupid like die.
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xbradicusx's journal
depressed